Friday 6 November 2009

U2 build new Berlin wall as a symbol of their ability to do so


As part of the anniversary of the Berlin wall coming down, U2 have built a two metre hight wall around the Brandenburg Gate in order to draw attention to the fact that they can easily do stuff like that.

The new Berlin wall was allegedly put in place to protect Berliners from the sounds that front-man Bono tends to emit whilst stood on a stage.

However, it is now understood that it was built merely as a demonstration of Bono’s ability to recreate any global symbol of persecution and division on nothing more than a whim.

A band insider told us, “It was a bit of a test.  To be honest, we’re all a little scared of what Bono will want to build next.  If he starts looking for land near to Auschwitz then I’m quitting to do something more socially acceptable, like run a euthanasia clinic.”

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The move is at odds with the U2’s manufactured public image as a band that cares deeply about issues around the world.

“I’m a big fan, but I wish they’d just stop pretending to care about all these issues, just admit they’re despicable money-grabbing shits and be done with it.” said one fan who had not travelled to Germany.

“Celebrating the fall of the Berlin wall by creating another wall which segregates the haves from the have nots is just so brilliantly ironic, it’s typical Bono.”

“It’s a bit like how he pesters the Governments of the world to give money to the poor whilst doing everything in his power to avoid paying taxes.”

“But let us not forget that most of all, Bono’s job is to draw attention to the amount of attention he personally draws to the things he thinks need attention drawn to them.”

“And at that, he is the best in the world.”

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