Tuesday 3 November 2009

Over-sized buns threaten greater obesity, insist Kelly Brook fans


Transport for London was last night warned by fans of Kelly Brook that using images of over-sized baked confectionery poses a significantly greater health risk than accidentally catching a passing glimpse at Miss Brook’s cleavage.

The furore surrounds an advert for The Calendar Girls, the theatre production Brook is to star in from today, which has been touched up due to glimpses of Brook’s ample bosom area.

The advert now includes the dual threat of two extremely large, highly calorific, cholesterol-laden iced buns.

“For a so-called conscientious organisation TfL have shown complete disregard for the well-being of their passengers,” said Kelly Brook fan Dave Jones, 34.

“Millions of Londoners will now arrive at their place of work with a craving for sugary snacks, instead of a massive erection, as was originally intended by the advert.”

Fans

“If it’s a choice between a sugar craving and sitting on the tube a stop longer than I need to because I’ve got a huge stiffy, then I’m going to pick the stiffy.” said another fan.

Not all fans are concerned by the confectionery cover-up, with many reacting with ambivalence.

One of them told us, “I don’t mind to be honest.  I spend all day mentally undressing all my favourite female colleagues, so a couple of iced buns is a piece of piss.”

Dave Pugh, producer of the show said, “We can only apologise to those passengers who have been distressed at the sight of these massive cakes.”

“I can assure you that if you come to the show there will be no cakes at all, just lots and lots of lovely tits.”

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