Wednesday 21 October 2009

Top Afghan forgers to compete in election ‘run off’


Afghanistan’s top forgery experts will engage in an election ‘run off’ to determine which religious lunatic will run the country for the next five years.

The forgers have until 7th November to create as many genuine-looking complete ballots as they can, mindful that they will have to pass UN inspection.

The previous round of forgeries eliminated the less skilled competitors, and all that are now left are the cream of Asian document counterfeiters representing the two presidential candidates.

Incumbent President, Hamid Karzai, is hoping his forger can secure 85% of the vote, whilst challenger Abdullah Abdullah feels confident his man will get him 75% of the vote.

However, if neither competitor reaches the 125% of the vote mandated in the Afghan constitution, there is the possibility the election will go to a third round.

Voters

The Afghan electorate have stressed that altough the forgery run-off makes for great television, it all feels a little unnecessary.

“It seems like a lot of effort to go to, when all they had to do to secure my vote is tell me that Allah said I have to vote for him.” said one voter.

A spokesperson for the Team Karzai head forger said he was looking forward to the challenge.

“Yes, these are the moments that make or break a counterfeiting career.”

“With an Afghan election victory on his CV, the sky is the limit.  We already preparing bids for certain Western governments that looking like getting destroyed in their own elections next year.”

“But it’s been a great competition, we’re delighted to have got to the final and we’re expecting a great day out for us and the supporters.”

“At the end of the day I just hope that the art of forgery is the winner.”

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