Wednesday 21 October 2009

I kept them all alive didn’t I, says Mum-of-the-Year nominee Jordan


Katie Price has been nominated for Celebrity Mum of the Year after successfully keeping all of her children alive for the duration of 2009.

Price made the final short-list after meeting the minimum requirement of ending the year with no fewer children than she started it.

Other short-listed mums include Jade goody who is likely secure a number of votes, despite only performing well in the first half of the year.

The short-list has received criticism from those parents who point out they would rather leave their children in the care of a pack of wolves than some of the nominees.

“I”d rather sign my four-year old son up for a five-year tour in the Helmand province than let him spend the weekend in the care of that perma-tanned fame-addled slapper.” said Jane Potter, 29.

Role-model

An award spokeswoman said, “We looked for strong positive maternal role models, and when we couldn’t find any we short-listed whoever we thought would give us the most publicity.”

“Like all good mums, she lets her hair down when she needs to, but no more than most other mothers who go out six or seven times a week.”

“We also applaud her selection of nannies for the children which limits her actual contact with the impressionable children.”

“She is clearly raising the type of well-rounded young people you would expect – considering she swapped their father for a man who spends his days beating up other men in cages.”

“We also note that during the year she has not lost, injured or killed any of her children, and for that success alone, we recognise her with this nomination.”

“What? Did you say she SINGS to the children at night?  Christ, someone get me the election committee, right now!”

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