Tuesday 20 October 2009

BNP to distance itself from extremist British military


The BNP today announced plans to distance itself from the British Army after claiming its policy of chasing foreigners around their own countries was going ‘a bit too far’.

The move comes after the BNP was criticised for its use of military imagery in campaign materials, which many of its supporters now feel uncomfortable with.

“I’m not entirely unhappy with using the British Army as a backdrop for our campaigns,” said one BNP member.

“I mean, we’re essentially the same, it’s just that the Army only seem to go for the foreigners based abroad – when we’re actually happy to leave those ones alone.”

“I just think they’re taking our ideals and making them a bit more militant.  It’s BNP fundamentalism, if you like.”

“Our leader Nick Griffin will be on Question Time later this week to make our point in a perfectly coherent manner, nothing could possibly go wrong.  Right?”

Question Time

BNP Leader Nick Griffin is expected to use his appearance on this week’s BBC Question Time to distance himself from the policies of the British military.

“I think it’s important that the indigenous population of the UK realise that we only want to hound the world’s brown people until they reach our shoreline.”

“What they do after that isn’t our concern.  We certainly have no intention of playing a global game of hide’n’seek with tanks and aircraft carriers.”

A BBC spokesperson explained the planned appearance of the BNP on Question Time, “We look forward to hearing his views, and we’ll make Mr Griffin as welcome as any other guest.”

“In fact we’ve reserved him a seat between two of the night’s other panellists, Emily Heskey and Frank Bruno.”

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