Friday 2 October 2009

Adebayor fined two hour’s wages for acting like a despicable shit


Manchester City’s multi-millionaire Emmanuel Adebayor has been fined two-hour’s wages following his ‘act like an unspeakable shit’ celebration against Arsenal.

He ran the length of the field to slowly rub his flaccid genitals in the stunned faces of every fan of his former club after scoring in City’s 4-2 victory at Eastlands.

An FA hearing yesterday decided that – since he had apologised – a suitable punishment would be to fine him everything he earned between 10am and lunchtime on Wednesday of this week.

“We feel this is a very severe punishment, and will make him think twice before acting like a complete shit in the future.” said a Football Association spokesperson.

“We are confident those two hours spent kicking a ball around this week to pay his fine will have preyed extremely heavily on his conscience.”

“We have also given him a suspended two match ban, which will be invoked the moment he so much as dangles a testicle in the general direction of north London before next Christmas.”

Adequate

Adebayor reacted with ambivalence to the fine, “Iz not so bad, I found ze right amount down ze back of ze sofa,”

“And come January 2011 I can again begin my one man campaign of cock waving against ze Arsenal fans.”

Manchester City manager Mark Hughes was delighted at the punishment, “It’s great to have Emmanuel back, as Craig Bellamy had been doing all the odious bastard work on up front on his own, but now we can spread the workload around a bit.”

“We’re extremely lucky to have a player as thoroughly unpleasant as Manu, and it’s great to have him available again.”

Not everyone was pleased at the FA announcement, an Arsenal fans spokesperson said fans were unhappy with the punishment, “We’re disappointed, of course.”

“I work in Tesco, and it’s the equivalent of me being fined £10.80 for slapping a noisy shopper with my cock and being told not to do it again for just over a year.”

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