Thursday 1 October 2009

Estate Agent forgot to mention house was completely fictional


An Estate Agency in Kent has been reported to the council for trying to sell a house that was the figment of one of their agents’ imagination.

The property, on the market with under-fire agency Geering & Colyer, came with five bedrooms, a pool, and three acres of it’s own land, despite being located in the centre of Hastings.

However, after asking for a viewing, James McAlpine was left surprised that the house itself could not be located.

He told us, “I suppose the first warning signs were the pictures of the property, which appeared to have been drawn by a child with learning difficulties.”

“Then we drove around for about twenty minutes whilst the agent tried to remember where it was.”

“That was when he slapped his forehead and said, ‘Oh I remember now, I completely made that house up!'”

“We laughed for a few seconds, but then I realised what a complete fucking cretin he was being.”

Nuclear facility

The fictional house comes just days after the same agency listed a nearby property without mentioning it was located in the basement of the Dungeness Nuclear power facility.

“It was a minor detail, much like being entirely fictitious,” said one of their agents.

“For some reason, most people aren’t keen on living next door to poisonous materials capable of melting your entire face in less than a nanosecond, or giving your children extra limbs and stuff.”

“But being too careful can mean losing out on a real bargain.”

“That Dungeness house would have been perfect for a blind, partially deaf individual with an extremely high tolerance for radiation.”

“And if you want to be picky, then yes, you can’t live in a fictional house, but think of the money you’d save on decorating.

“So what would you like to offer, hmm?”

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