Wednesday 30 September 2009

Frantic bidding begins for Government’s new ‘slag houses’


As the Government announced plans to house dozens of sexually promiscuous 16 year old girls in a shared home, the bidding to manage these properties began at a frantic pace.

The policy is seen as a way to stop teenagers having frantic monkey sex behind the supermarket before leaving the tax payer to pick up the bill.

A Government spokesperson said, “What better way to educate today’s gym clip mothers, than to make them live with lots of other gym-slip mothers.  It was this chastity belts on prescription.”

“They will be much harder to target by randy teenage boys if they’re all living in exactly the same place, right?”

Opportunity

Entrepreneurial property developers have been quick to bid for the opportunity to run these new centres, and are offering many extra features for free.

“We would be delighted to run a facility such as this, what right-minded property investor with an active libido wouldn’t?” said 24 year old Shane Jones.

“We’ll happily install state of the art surveillance equipment so you can track the lithe young definitely-sexually-active females, wherever they are, 24/7.”

The role of house supervisor is likely to be one that requires a great deal of experience with promiscuous teenage girls.

“Wait, there’ll be supervisor jobs?” continued Mr Jones.

“You mean I could get paid to spend all day with these barely legal strumpets?  How does one apply for such a role?”

Teenage boys around the country have reacted surprisingly well to the news.

“They’re going to put all the girls that absolutely definitely ‘do it’ in the same house?” asked 16 year old Kevin Watts.

“This is great! Think of all the time I’ll save not cycling round all the council estates looking for gash.  Brilliant!”

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