Monday 28 September 2009

Andrew Marr to perform complete physicals on all political leaders


BBC Political correspondent Andrew Marr has announced he is to undertake a thorough physical examination of all the main political leaders during conference season.

The move comes after he picked up the wrong clip board and accidentally undertook a complete medical history of Gordon Brown on live television.

In a bid to ensure there is no political bias in his reporting, Marr is now planning full medical work-ups for the leaders of the other main parties.

“I think I’ve got the hang of it now,” said Marr.

“I’ve even got the rubber gloves and everything.”

Criticism

Despite Marr’s best efforts in a difficult situation, there has been considerable criticism of his bedside manner by those in the medical profession.

“Why wasn’t he wearing scrubs?” asked one Doctor. “And the patient wasn’t wearing one of those gowns that lets your ass hang out.”

“I imagine the rectal examination would have taken ages.  It was a very inefficient way to take a medical history.”

After being snubbed in the medical reviews, a BNP spokesperson this morning released a statement saying, “We feel it is a further indication of the BBC’s political bias.”

“Why has Nick Griffin not been asked to provide a stool sample at this time?  Do they not like decent hard working British turds?”

The conservatives confirmed that David Cameron would be delighted to get a thorough going over from an older boy, as it will remind him of his school days.

The BBC have already received several packages of bodily fluids from someone called Nick Clegg, but as yet have been unable to ascertain exactly who he is.

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