As the Liberal Democrats began their annual conference, everyone in the UK wondered if there was something going on with that yellow party, the one led by that guy who looks a bit like Tim from The Office.
Somebody vaguely recognisable opened the conference with plans to do something about house prices, but details were scarce as nobody was paying proper attention.
One political correspondent told us, “It was interesting, they came on stage and said something that got a round of applause.”
“But then I got a 7 letter word on iPhone Scrabble, and that was it. The next thing I knew, we were taking a break.”
The conference itself is said be like one big party, where you can say whatever you like, because nobody is ever going to hold you to it.
“Nobody cares.” said one delegate. “We can promise whatever we like, just as I could promise never to cheat on Angelina Jolie – because I’m never going to get the chance to, am I?”
As rumours spread regarding the introduction of policies such as a ‘bucket of gold for every voter’, excitement reached the level of a stifled yawn.
“I might just make some stuff up,” continued the political correspondent, “Nobody would care, or even notice to be honest.”
“The only way the yellows are going get into power is if someone finds evidence of David Cameron performing fellatio on Osama Bin Laden.”
“Even then, Gordon Brown would need to be caught smoking crack in Number 10′s garden shed.”
“And even if all that were to happen, people still wouldn’t be able to pick Nick Clegg out of a line up made of him and the remaining members of the Jackson Five.”