Friday 18 September 2009

Flavio Briatore to seek new corruption opportunities


After leaving his position as boss of the Renault Formula 1 team, Flavio Briatore is already seeking out new opportunities for his unique ability to spread corruption and subterfuge.

Briatore left the Renault team after charges were brought against them for asking Nelson Piquet Jnr. to drive marginally worse than normal, by crashing into a wall and allowing Fernando Alonso to claim a Grand Prix victory.

Originally discounted as one of his many, many driver errors, Piquet’s crash has further improved Briatore’s CV in using corruption to meet his personal and financial goals.

Fortunately for Flavio, as one door closes another is jimmied open with a screwdriver, and Briatore is today seeking out new opportunities for unique brand of malfeasance.

Options

A Briatore aide told us, “Flavio is considering several offers right now, including a potential presidential campaign in an unnamed middle eastern country where his fraudulent immorality are extremely valuable.”

“We did consider trying politics in his own country, Italy, but we felt that would be too much of a cliché.”

“There is also a very attractive offer on the table from some guy in an US prison to put Flavio’s name on something called a Ponzi scheme?”

One thing is certain, with so many crooked opportunities on the horizon, Briatore is unlikely to disappear from the public eye.

One fan told us, “I’m glad he has other offers, it would be a shame for such a gifted corruption artist to drift away from the scene completely.”

“But even if no-one wanted him, he’d probably turn up selling plots of land on the moon or something, you can’t keep a bad man down.”

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