Wednesday 19 August 2009

Corruption fear in Afghan election as Iranian Ahmadinejad becomes bookies favourite


An investigation has been launch into Afghanistan’s presidential election after it was discovered that Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the current bookmaker’s favourite.

The election – due to take place on August 20 – will see incumbent President Hamid Karzai look to secure his position against apparent opposition from a man not even listed on the ballot.

Early investigations have shown that voting slips are available on the black market to the highest bidder, or anyone capable of taking them by force.

“If the people of Afghanistan want me as their leader, who am I to say no?” said recently-elected Iranian President Ahmadinejad.

“It is another great day for democracy.  Much like that recent great day in my own country.”

“Though I fully expect the western infidels to interfere yet again to try and undermine the election – which I will be winning next week with 84% of the vote.”

Violence

The Afghan authorities have requested that Western media do not show any coverage of the impending street violence for fear that it will frighten off the eleven people thinking about voting.

An Afghan spokesperson said, “Nothing puts people off leaving the house like news of people blowing themselves up on every street corner, so perhaps you might not tell them?”

“The media will only exaggerate the details anyway.  If a bomb kills fifteen, you might suggest it was actually twenty, which would put people off voting.”

“We don’t need you telling our people how violent the streets are, if they want to know they can just look out of a window.”

A UN spokesman told us, “Anyone who can get to a voting booth without being shot, blown up, stoned or standing on a mine, fully deserves to have their vote ignored by a corrupt government.”


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