Monday 17 August 2009

Jordan starts own television company ensuring endless supply of drivel


Katie Price, also known as Jordan, has expanded her business empire by launching her own television production company ensuring an infinite supply of mind-numbingly tedious reality shows featuring the star.

Price, who is currently embroiled in a messy-break-up with pop failure Peter Andre, said the move would ensure her television profile remained significantly higher than it deserved to be.

“We’ve had numerous offers to make more shows, obviously,” she told reporters on the announcement of new company, Pricey Media.

“One very generous offer was for a 520 week consecutive run of a reality show called, ‘Me and my chemically induced coma’ – but I’m not sure people want to see me doing drugs an’ that.”

“But now that I have my own television company, we can literally make two hours of television for every hour I am alive.”

Price then told weeping reporters, “There really is no reason for me not to be on every television in the land, at every minute, of every single day.”

Shows

Price’s first project with her new company will be a show called “Who Katie did next”, which will follow Price as she hurls her vagina at a string of men in an effort to make Peter Andrew jealous.

Other projects in the pipeline include, “Katie makes a show about Katie making a show” and the eagerly anticipated “Katie goes shopping for attire appropriate for a mother of three”.

One television reviewer said, “Look on the bright side, it might stop her singing.”

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