Thursday 13 August 2009

Alan Duncan is right about the rations you know, say war veterans


Veterans of the second world war have been quick to support Shadow Commons leader Alan Duncan, by saying yes, being an MP is just like living on rations during the war.

As Duncan came in for significant criticism over his complaints about the new expenses regime MPs are forced to operate under, a number of veterans have leapt to his defence.

“Being an MP today is exactly like living in a state of perpetual terror about an imminent Nazi invasion,” said Wilfred Jones, 89.

“Back when Nazi bombs were destroying every other home on my street, we couldn’t get any money from the Government’s tight-fisted bureaucrats to do up our gardens, either.”

“So that is very similar to the current troubles facing MPs, I suppose.”

Memories

Though records are a little vague on the exact list of benefits available to those on rations, Mr. Jones was able to recall further details in support of the Conservative front bencher.

“My memory isn’t what it was, but I’m pretty sure no-one was able to kit out their homes with the latest surround sound cinema systems, either.”

“I did try to get the government to pay for a cleaner once, but they insisted on giving me books of vouchers for powdered egg instead,”

“Though I think Gerald at number 43 might have swapped his monthly sugar rations for a moat around his duck pond.”

Emboldened by the support he had received over the comments, Duncan remained unrepentant.

“They want to give us just £20 a day? Really? Any half-decent rent boy will barely give you the time of day for that much.”

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