A dedicated football fan is launching a website aimed at helping fellow supporters avoid being ripped off or getting bad service.
Middlesbrough supporter Albert Pierrepoint came up with the idea after being dissatisfied with a club that continually wasted his season ticket cash on so called “footballers” that persistently refused to put in a shift, and couldn’t hit a barn door with the aid of a rather large, laser-guided banjo.
This frustration, when coupled with coaches that couldn’t ‘manage’ a hard on in a whorehouse, led him to consider ways of preventing his fellow supporters continually being ripped off.
The website, which was funded by Albert from his own pocket after seeing a particularly abject performance from his own team, will save supporters money, he says.
“There are some clubs, for example, who see ‘fans’ as simply a way to make money. They see you’re a lifelong supporter, and suddenly they can put £200 on the price of a season ticket because they know you won’t question it.”
“Now, if you’re thinking of spending a grand on a season ticket to watch a team full of work-shy, preening prima-donnas, we are able to warn you before you make a terrible. terrible mistake.”
Platinum Supporters will feature clubs that offer “hard work, commitment and skill” – from defenders and midfielders to wingers and forwards – which have been vetted and deemed “trustworthy” by fans across the country.
There are also coaches, financial controllers and chairmen – most of whom have been used by, or recommended to him by other supporters.
The UK’s 1,000,000 football fans will be sent secure log-in details for the invitation-only site.