Monday 10 August 2009

Pietersen’s ego reminds everyone England were winning when he played


Kevin Pietersen’s ego today told everyone to remember that England were leading the Ashes series at the time he was forced to withdraw due to an achilles injury.

As England collapsed to a frankly embarrassing 80 run innings defeat in the fourth Ashes test, Pietersen’s ego was keen to ensure he was not branded by the pitiful performance at Headingley.

Pietersen will play no further part in the series against Australia after undergoing surgery on his achilles last month.

“Obviously Kevin a little disappointed not to play any further part in the series,” said his ego.

“But I am also really pleased, because we were winning at the time he was injured, so technically, if we lose the series, he  will still be a winner.”

“Everybody should remember that.”

Speculation

There has been a great deal of media speculation over middle-order changes to improve the batting performance in the final test at the Oval.

Pietersen’s ego told the press, “Yes, there have been calls for in-form 39 year-old dancer Mark Ramprakash,”

“But you should write some more stories about how everything would be different if Kevin was still playing.”

“Perhaps include a picture of him hitting a strident cover drive, or a photo of his pop-star wife?”

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