Friday 31 July 2009 By Jeff Flynn

Phil Spector to launch chart assault with prison super group


Successful murderer and music producer Phil Spector has shocked the music world by announcing his comeback plan to tour the American penal system with a self-styled band of convicted felons.

Only two months in to his 19 year jail sentence, for the murder of actress Lana Clarkson, Spector is putting the finishing touches to a tour which he hopes will place him back at the “toppermost of the poppermost”.

Spector’s prison trustee, Hal Lifson explained, “Phil is always highly creative at whatever he puts his mind too,”

“Whether that be producing John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’, or brutally murdering his wife, and just because he’s stuck in a five by nine foot cell for 23 hours a day, that hasn’t changed.”

Concern

Initially, the world’s media and human rights organisations expressed ‘grave concern’ for Spector, when it was revealed that he had no computer access, or even a television set with which to enjoy his time in prison.

Lifson continued, “The first month was a pretty terrible existence for a millionaire record producer who lived in mansions, and most recently in a 35-roomed castle.”

“Sleeping two feet away from where you empty your bowels can require a bit of a readjustment, but happily he’s over that now.”

Band

Spector is using his time wisely and decided to form a band of musical murders which he describes as, “A bit like the Travelling Wilbury’s, but with a combined mandatory jail term of 368 years.”

The deranged muso continued, “I’ve got lunatic mass-murderer Charles Manson playing rhythm guitar, Robert Blake on keyboards and that David Berkowitz, ‘Son of Sam’ fella on skins.”

“I’m calling the group ‘Kill Krazy, with a ‘K’.”

The producer, who aims to both sing and play lead guitar, continued, “With a set like I have planned, and a group of burly killers stood alongside me, we can’t fail.”

“I even heard that O.J. Simpson is interested in joining the band.  He’s learning to play the bassoon!”.

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