Friday 17 July 2009

Nation finally has excuse to quarantine Cherie Blair


The UK was celebrating last night after a bout of swine flu finally gave the country an excuse to quarantine Cherie Blair.

Mrs Blair started feeling unwell at the start of the week and has now been diagnosed with the H1N1 virus, known by everyone as swine flu.

As the diagnosis was made, everyone in the immediate vicinity agreed that it was an excellent opportunity to lock her in a room away from everybody, where she would have zero contact with the outside world.

“We were hoping we’d get to lock her up for a different reason when she went through that new age crystal and bioelectric fields phase,” said a neighbour of the Blairs.

“But apparently you can’t lock someone up for being a gullible idiot.”

“And the ant-terrorist squad weren’t interested when she became a religious fanatic – why couldn’t she have picked Islam?”

Facility

The search is now on for a suitable facility in which to keep Mrs Blair for the duration of her quarantine, which it is hoped will last several years.

“We were thinking of something deep underground, probably with flickering low lighting and a funny smell?” said an NHS spokesperson.

“We’re pretty sure she’ll make a full recovery – eventually, but we’re still looking for volunteers willing to go and check on her during the quarantine.”

“When she finally comes out, we fully expect her to claim any recovery is due to some form of shiny hippy rock, or whichever deity it is that she’s yabbering on with this week.”

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