Monday 6 July 2009

F1 boss Ecclestone envious of Hitler’s ability to get things done


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Formula 1 boss Bernie Ecclestone yesterday expressed his admiration and envy for the manner in which Adolf Hitler commanded people to do his bidding and was able to get things done.

In an interview which focussed on the recent troubles in the Formula 1 sport, Ecclestone said that Hitler would have been able to sort it out much quicker than he had.

“He was good at dispute resolution,” said Ecclestone.

“Basically, if you disagreed with him, he had you shot.  Which meant it didn’t happen very often.”

“I wish I was able to do the same, but those bloody do-gooders would say it’s against all sorts of human rights laws.”

“And basic human rights didn’t exist back then, so Adolf didn’t have to put up with them. Which is probably why he got so much done.”

“I wish it was like the olden days.”

Max Mosley

After FIA Chairman Max Mosley was caught engaging orgies with prostitutes that were rumoured to have a Nazi theme, Ecclestone said Mosley is the right man to lead the sport out of its current troubles.

“Max is the man, definitely.” Continued Ecclestone.

“If only he were less coy about his Nazi tendencies people would be more likely to do as he says.”

“Nothing gets people on-side like the threat of being one of six million murder victims.”

F1 teams are expected to vote this week on Ecclestone’s proposals for race winners to receive giant golden swastikas from next season.

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