Tuesday 30 June 2009

Bernard Madoff’s rotting corpse to be kept in jail for 130 years


Bernard Madoff’s withered corpse has received the maximum prison sentence of 150 years for masterminding a massive fraud that robbed investors of $65bn (£40bn).

The 72 year-old, who was still technically alive at the time of sentencing, is expected to see less than 20% of his sentence as a living, breathing human entity.

The remainder of his 130 year sentence will be served by his increasingly dessicated remains, in a high security prison in Texas.

US District Judge Denny Chin said, “What better way to punish his extraordinary evil acts than to keep his cold cadaver incarcerated for over a century?”

Survival struggle

With many of Madoff’s multimillionaire victims in court to see the sentencing, there were tears of joy at Judge Chin’s announced term of incarceration.

“Thanks to Madoff, we lost $2.5m, meaning we have had to survive on the remaining $7.5m of my trust fund,” said one Madoff victim, Vincent Malloy.

“Which makes him significantly worse than child murderers and Al Qaeda, and so I’m delighted his sentence reflects the severity of his crimes.”

“It’s one thing to steal, but steal from rich people simply isn’t acceptable, and now the law of the land has shown it won’t be tolerated,”

“Now, if we could only stitch up some of those Al Qaeda terrorists for securities fraud, we could put them away for a decent amount of time.”

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