Thursday 11 June 2009

Capello magic continues as England demolish sheep farmers and electricians


England’s relentless march towards the 2010 World Cup in South Africa has gathered almost unstoppable momentum after a Wembley victory against some sheep farmers, electricians and a banker.

The nation’s football fans were left breathless as Fabio Capello’s side barely broke stride against the 196th best team in the world on their way to a seventh successive victory in the qualifying campaign.

“They might only be the 196th best team on a planet with only 194 countries, but that’s no reason for complacency,” said England captain John Terry.

“If we’d all fainted at the same time, or all developed rapid onset diarrhoea, this result could easily have been a more mundane 3 or 4 nil.

“But it was a good workout for everyone, and Robert Green finished The Sun’s sudoku puzzle by the 75th minute, which was nice for him.”

Drubbing

A 6-0 scoreline may be considered a bad result for some, but not for Andorra’s players, four of whom had never even seen a football until Monday afternoon.

“This must go down as one of our greatest ever results,” said manager Andorra manager David Rodrigo.

“And the players have been told they can keep the towels from the changing rooms, which has been a real highlight.”

Andorran captain Justo Ruiz was more circumspect in his assessment of the night’s performance.

“I’m a little disappointed I suppose,” he admitted after the game.

“But mainly because I thought I was coming to England to see Michael Jackson at the O2.  I had to borrow some boots from the linesman this evening.”

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