Friday 5 June 2009

I’ll run this place on my own if I have to, says defiant Brown


In the wake of another Ministerial resignation Gordon Brown has defiantly told everyone that he will run the country on his own if he has to, before turning and cackling at a life-size portrait of himself sat on a throne and dressed like Superman.

Pensions secretary James Purnell resigned from his position yesterday, taking to three to the number of cabinet ministers people wouldn’t recognise if they took a shit on their front lawn.

“He did what exactly?” asked Tom Stokes of Middlesbrough.

“He did something in the Government?  Really?  Was he important?”

Defiance

Despite plans for an imminent reshuffle, Gordon Brown has made it clear that he will run the country on his own if he has to, citing many example of other strong leaders.

“Kim Jong Il – he knows how to run a county, and the whole world is shit scared of him,” confided Brown.

“I bet the press over there don’t call him a one-eyed droopy faced retard, do they?”

“And what about the Mugabe chap?”

“You rarely see him facing tough questions about his ability to lead, and I’m MILES younger than him.”

Upon hearing the news, Labour backbenchers were said to be preparing a hessian sack half-filled with rocks on the banks of the Thames.

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