Friday 8 May 2009

Navy centenary flypast scares the bejesus out of London


The Royal Navy has terrified the city of London by marking 100 years of aviation with a spectacular flypast over HMS Illustrious on the river Thames.

A formation of 40 aircraft, led by Merlin attack helicopters, passed over the capital on their way to the strike carrier.

Sea Kings, Lynx, Hawks and Jetstreams were among the aircraft which left members of the public convinced we were all going to die, in violent fashion, and extremely soon.

“I thought this was it.” said Mike Blair, 27 of London.

“Why would so many attack helicopters fly across the city in formation if it wasn’t to fight off an invading army of aliens or terrorists?”

“I’ll be honest, I went straight to PC world, because when the looting starts I want to make sure I get the good stuff.”

Well-planned

The flypast was reminiscent of the recent fly-by of Air Force One around New York, a city entirely comfortable with low flying passenger jets.

However criticism of the move has been quickly rejected by Naval officers.

“There is no need to be scared of helicopters.” said the Naval Press Secretary.

“If an attack helicopter flew into your building they’d bounce off if like a bee against your window.”

“It’s only when they fire their considerable missile armaments that you should be concerned, and if you see one fire a missile, it’s probably too late anyway.”

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