Tuesday 5 May 2009

Swine flu now almost as dangerous as doing DIY


As the latest UK figures showed that an incredible 27 people are confirmed as suffering from, or pretty much recovered from Swine flu, scientists claim it is now almost as dangerous as doing DIY.

With zero fatalities and 27 ‘injuries’, swine flu is now just three deaths away from being as big a killer in the UK as basic home improvements.

“People are terrified of wiring a plug and putting up shelves, and rightly so.” said one professional Risk Assessor.

“DIY took the life of one celebrity in Rod Hull, and unfortunately I think this is what it will take for Swine Flu to be taken seriously by the UK public.”

“Or maybe it will take the death of anyone at all outside of what it essentially a third world country where 3% of all deaths are from normal influenza and pneumonia.”

Lessons Learned

“We all know people we lost to the previous killer virus, Bird Flu.” Continued the Risk Assessor.

“Well I don’t, not personally.  But I imagine most people do, I’m sure of it.”

“Whole communities in rural England were decimated by it, right?”

“I just hope it doesn’t get that bad.”

At the current rate of two new cases per day, it is predicted that Swine Flu will represent as big a danger to the British public as crossing the road by sometime in 2015.

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