Friday 24 April 2009

Recession now officially scarier than the paedophiles


According to a new study, children are increasingly worried about the credit crunch and the economy, rather than typical fears such as monsters under the bed.

With the country plummeting further into the red, a study of 1,000 children of varying ages showed 61% had been affected by the economic downturn.

This has surprised child psychologists, with many of the traditional fears cascading down the charts, with ‘nasty paedophiles’ out of the top 10 altogether.

“Children of today would prefer to be touched up by a strange old man in the park than face an unmanageable Public Sector Borrowing Requirement and a shrinking Gross Domestic Product,” said one so-called expert.

The Bogeyman

The news is bleak for many parents with the threat of the bogeyman no longer offering adequate deterrent for those wishing to punish children.

“We tell them that the bogey man will get them, and they’re all like – ‘Just tell me when the bailiffs come for the house, Mom’ – what can we do?” said one concerned parent.

One child discipline expert said, “It’s not just the recession, it’s the video games too.  How can a naughty step compete with the threat of alien invasion or a complete collapse of the major Western economies?”

There was some good news however, as the survey showed that 84% of children now considered their chances of being stabbed as “a little bit less” than last year.


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