Thursday 23 April 2009

Property boom begins in Isle of Man, Switzerland and Dubai


Property prices in the Isle of Man, Switzerland and Dubai leapt overnight on the news that just about any successful professional in the UK will be looking for a new home abroad from April 2010.

With just 12 months to go until Alistair Darling’s new 50% tax rate is applied to anyone earning over £150,000, successful professionals have begun putting their affairs in order before the big move.

“I’m thinking Switzerland,” said Shaun Farrell, a successful small business owner who employs 35 people.

“I like to ski, and I don’t like paying tax, so it’s perfect really.”

“We thought about staying, for about six or seven minutes.”

“Then we decided that, after keeping a successful business running in these trying times, we didn’t want to be the ones to pay for the monumental cluster-fuck this Government has forced itself into.”

“So, you know.  Good luck with that.”

Shortfall

Experts have predicted the mass exodus of anyone with the earning potential to be hit by the new tax rate will have a detrimental effect on the UK’s overall tax revenue.

“It’s going to be tough,” said financial expert Nick Leeson.

“You can’t expect the 5 or 6 high earners who remain in the country to prop up the entire economy.  It’s just not realistic.”

“You ask that of them, and they might do something stupid.”

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