Tuesday 31 March 2009

Smoking hot Catholics to target Royal family


Incredibly attractive members of the Roman Catholic church were today celebrating the news that they and their children might be allowed to take the throne by marrying into the Royal family.

News has reached us that Gordon Brown has opened talks with Buckingham Palace over altering the 1701 Act of Settlement, which bars members of the Royal family from succeeding to the throne if they marry Roman Catholics.

Until the recent announcement, attractive Catholics were career limited regarding the amount of success they could have in marrying into money.

Roman Catholic glamour-model Penny Shackleton, 23, said, “It’s great news, obviously.”

“I’d previously set my sights on a footballer, or maybe a pop star, but now I know that an actual real live Prince is in play, it’s a whole new ball game!”

Previous rules

Under the previous rules, Roman Catholics would have to make do with a bit of slap’n’tickle with any Royalty they came across, as marriage was simply out of the question.

The only way for a Roman Catholic to marry into the Royal family was for the Royal to give up any rights they had to the throne.

“Who would give up their right to the throne for a piece of ass?  It’s a no brainer, no matter how sweet it was.” said one Buckingham Palace spokesperson.

“But now, the field is pretty much open, though I imagine there’d be a few issues if they want to marry a Muslim.”

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