Friday 27 March 2009

Shock as Madonna throws second consecutive dart in Malawi


Pop star Madonna has shocked bookmakers after the dart thrown at her wall-mounted adoption atlas landed once again in Malawi.

The pop legend, 50, announced her intention to adopt once more with the ceremonial throwing of the ‘adoption dart’ at her specially constructed two meter square atlas.

“It’s amazing really,” said a spokesperson for bookmakers Paddy Power. “Malawi is tiny, and for her to hit it twice on the bounce is pretty incredible.”

“We’d taken a lot of money on China and Russia, due to their large target areas, though South Africa had been heavily backed in a late surge after rumours circulated she was interested in adopting another brown one.”

Brangelina

The swift return to the adoption process following her recent divorce is said to have occurred after a brief meeting with Angelina Jolie at a US awards ceremony.

“They were looking at a map of the world on Angelina’s iPhone,” said an party insider.

“All I could hear was, Got, Got, Got, Got, OH NEED! NEED!”

“There was some heated discussion about swapseys, and then Madonna left in a huff.”

Unprecedented

Despite alleged coaching from Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor, Madonna appears to have failed to hit her intended target.

“We’re not entirely sure what this means,” said one adoption expert we spoke to.

“We’ll have the check the rules, but two in a bed might mean she has to give the first one back.”

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