Wednesday 18 March 2009

New Lynx officially less effective than Rohypnol


A recent study has shown that the tiny new Lynx deodorant product, the Lynx Bullet, is officially less effective in ensuring sexual relations than Rohypnol.

The new Lynx product, which is said to offer “Pocket Pulling Power” has been specifically designed to create opportunities for sexual intercourse for young males.

However, it has been met with a less than enthusiastic response from its core market.

“I’ve tried it twice,” said Kevin Brook, 16 of Essex.

“The first time I got a bit in my mouth, and the second time the girl sneezed and then completely ignored me.”

Sexual

In fact, of the teenagers asked, less than 3% could confidently say that wearing Lynx had led to a sexual encounter of any description.

That figure dropped to less than 1% when the ‘posh wank’ was removed from the defined sexual encounters.

Conversely, the regular users of Rohypnol said that over 60% of the time the use of Rohypnol ensured a poontang party.

“If I’m going to carry a chemical aid on a night out, I’m going to use one that’s proven to work,” added Mr Brook.

“Rohypnol doesn’t make my clothes smell, and it doesn’t make them sneeze either.”

“In fact, you have to work pretty hard to get any sort of reaction out of them whatsoever.”

Denial

A Lynx executive said, “We officially refute the claims that anything helps teenage boys get sex more easily than wearing Lynx.”

“If this Rohypnol is so good, where are all the gorgeous models in their adverts, eh?”  he concluded.

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