Tuesday 17 March 2009

Pope misquoted: Pontiff meant condoms ‘annoy’ AIDS


Pope Benedict XVI claims to have been misquoted during his African visit when he said that the use of condoms was merely “aggravating the AIDS problem”.

The comments have caused uproar among health professionals and AIDS groups alike.

The Pope has been quick to diffuse the situation by claiming that what he actually meant to say was, “condoms annoy AIDS”, which makes considerably more sense.

AIDS will be pissed

“If you were a teeny-weeny little AIDs virus, wouldn’t a rubber sheath annoy you too?” he added while speaking to gathered reporters.

“How can using condoms make AIDS worse?  Only a mad man would say such a thing.”

“It is my English.  It is not so good.  Aggravate and Annoy are very similar in my German-Italian-English-back-Italian-then-to-German-again dictionary.

“But AIDS is a dangerous disease, very dangerous.  And you shouldn’t anger dangerous things.  You wouldn’t poke a bear with a stick, would you?”

“That is the real reason we say condoms are a bad thing.”

“That and they’re difficult to afford on a priest’s wages.”

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