Tuesday 10 March 2009

Dalai Lama helps scientists pin-point Hell


Scientists have finally pinpointed the exact location of Hell thanks to help from the Dalai Lama.

Despite years of searching for its location by theologians and scientists alike, Hell had never been found until the Dalai Lama today described his Tibetan homeland as, “Hell on earth.”

This discovery has shocked many observers, as the general consensus had been that Hell on earth was somewhere in the Thames Valley, near Slough.

Though scientists are excited by the find, many theologians have expressed concern over the lack of fiery brimstone and tortured sinners which had previously acted as a deterrent for would-be wrong-doers.

Disappointment

“I am a bit disappointed to be honest, yes.” said the Bishop of Caldecott.

“If you look on Flickr, Tibet actually looks quite nice.  I’m not sure this is going to put people off killing, thieving and coveting their neighbours oxen.”

The discovery has shocked many of Tibet’s recent visitors.

“I was in Tibet a couple of months ago and didn’t see any dead evil people,” said Shane McDonagh, a backpacker from Australia.

“Do you think Hitler and Saddam Hussein had a religious conversion at the last minute and saved themselves?  That’d be a bit unfair, wouldn’t it?”

With Hell now safely marked on the world’s maps, the hunt is now on to find Heaven, with persistent rumours of it being on the Girls Aloud tour bus still unfounded.

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