Thursday 5 March 2009

Iggy Pop urged to marry Swiftcover insurance


UK consumers today told Iggy Pop that if he loves Swiftcover Insurance so much he should “just f***ing marry it already.”

Mr Pop, 61, real name James Newell Österberg Jnr. is well known for being the only man on earth with a negative body fat percentage.

He is currently seen on UK television screens extolling the virtues of Swiftcover insurance.

Alopecian horse

The adverts, in which Mr Pop writhes around with his hideous old man’s torso on full display, suggest that people should “get a life” by getting insurance with Swiftcover.

“He’s every goddam where I look,” said Jesse Knowles, 35 of Redditch. “It makes me ill just to look at him.”

“If he loves that f***ing insurance broker so much he should just f***ing marry it.”

Swiftcover, who claim a unique selling point in the speed with which they can service your policy feel that Pop is the perfect face for their products.

Requited love

“He’s the perfect face,” said a Swiftcover spokesperson, “Apart from when he does the jowly sad thing, or jumps around, or stands in daylight.  Then it’s a bit grim.”

“We want people to see us as vibrant, lively, and hip.  And what better way to do that than through a 61 year-old man with no shirt on?”

“We love him, and we’re pretty sure it’s mutual.”

There has been some controversy over the Pop/Swiftcover relationship as Swiftcover have a policy of not insuring musicians, or anyone in the creative arts.

“Why would we?” continued the spokesperson, “They’re risky as f***.”

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