Tuesday 3 March 2009

Abu Qatada sings Hakuna Matata


Controversial Muslim cleric Abu Qatada is to spend his recent compensation award from the UK Government on recording a cover version of “Hakuna Matata”.

Mr. Qatada has been detained without without charge since 2002 on suspicion of aiding terrorists.

It is hoped that releasing the single will help his image among the British population, among whom he wishes to remain.

The track, a signature tune from the successful Disney animation The Lion King, is based on a Swahili phrase which means, “Don’t worry, for the rest of your life.”

Qatada’s advisers have warned him against his planned addition of the Swahili for, “However long that is, you capitalist pig dogs.”

Love and peace and death to infidels

A spokesperson for Mr. Qatada said that they hoped such a positive message would draw focus away from his previous tracks, which include promises to condemn the godless infidels to an excruciating eternity in Hell.

His ¢2,500 compensation is to be spent on four hours in a recording studio, whilst the rest is to be used in putting together a special effects video to accompany the track.

“They want to make Qatada appear as if he’s running through a field of daffodils cheered on by monkeys.” said recently-hired video producer, Vince Traddle.

“Which is sort of taking the piss for just under a grand.”

Qatada is hoping to release the single in time for mildly lucrative Easter market.

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