Thursday 19 February 2009

Anti-smoking lobby welcomes controversial US Church


The UK’s anti-smoking campaign has welcomed the imminent arrival of the controversial Westboro Baptist Church from the United States.

Fred Phelps and other representatives of the Westboro Baptist Church, famous for it’s “God hates Fags!” slogans, are due into the UK early next week to begin a series of protests.

“I think it’s great” said a spokesman for the NHS, “We need all the help we can get.  People just aren’t quitting smoking quickly enough.”

Commentators have noted that the Church’s evocative imagery of eternal damnation in a fiery Hell could prove enough incentive for those considering quitting.

“Yeah, I’m worried about my health, sure” said one 21 year-old Christian nicotine addict, “But who wants to spend forever as one of Beelzebub’s playthings?  I’m giving up today!”

Pleasant Surprise

This extra pair of hands in the fight against Nicotine has come as something of a welcome surprise to the anti-smoking lobby.

fagscomment1“We didn’t even know the Bible mentioned smoking,” said one senior NHS campaigner, “but I’m happy to admit it was a pleasant surprise.”

“If this Church helps us save just one smoking related death, then this entire trip will have been worth it.”

“Though we’d like it to be more than one.”

“Not that we’re setting targets or anything.”

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