Thumbnail image for Tamiflu performed exactly as we hoped it would, claim Tamiflu manufacturers

Tamiflu performed exactly as we hoped it would, claim Tamiflu manufacturers

A report claiming that Government stocks of Tamiflu work no better than paracetamol does not take into account how successful it is at ‘returning shareholder value’, according to Tamiflu executives.

Thumbnail image for John Terry to test drive lab-grown vaginas

John Terry to test drive lab-grown vaginas

Former England captain and occasional racist John Terry has claimed he should have ‘first go’ on pioneering synthetic minges, it has emerged.

After claiming that Jesus Christ invented the Big Society, voters everywhere have asked the Prime Minister what Jesus thought of people who made a living by lending people money.

The UK’s finances saw a boost this week when the government announced it would be including income from prostitution and drugs trade in future forecasts.

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Sport

Thumbnail image for John Terry to test drive lab-grown vaginas

John Terry to test drive lab-grown vaginas

Former England captain and occasional racist John Terry has claimed he should have ‘first go’ on pioneering synthetic minges, it has emerged.

Politics

Thumbnail image for Tamiflu performed exactly as we hoped it would, claim Tamiflu manufacturers

Tamiflu performed exactly as we hoped it would, claim Tamiflu manufacturers

A report claiming that Government stocks of Tamiflu work no better than paracetamol does not take into account how successful it is at ‘returning shareholder value’, according to Tamiflu executives.

Entertainment

Thumbnail image for People who post Game of Thrones spoilers the new paedophiles

People who post Game of Thrones spoilers the new paedophiles

People who spoil your enjoyment of Game of Thrones are worse than kiddy fiddlers, according to Twitter this morning.

World

Thumbnail image for Harvard students to get lessons in angry shouting and pointing

Harvard students to get lessons in angry shouting and pointing

Students at Harvard University are to become skilled in angrily pointing at their watches and shouting at people fifty yards away, thanks to a teaching position given to Sir Alex Ferguson.

Technology

Thumbnail image for John Terry to test drive lab-grown vaginas

John Terry to test drive lab-grown vaginas

Former England captain and occasional racist John Terry has claimed he should have ‘first go’ on pioneering synthetic minges, it has emerged.

Science

Thumbnail image for Scientists claim new microscope powerful enough to see George Osborne’s heart

Scientists claim new microscope powerful enough to see George Osborne’s heart

The UK has earmark £165m to join a project to build a ‘super-microscope’ in Sweden, in the hope of finally gathering evidence than George Osborne has a heart.

Education

Thumbnail image for Harvard students to get lessons in angry shouting and pointing

Harvard students to get lessons in angry shouting and pointing

Students at Harvard University are to become skilled in angrily pointing at their watches and shouting at people fifty yards away, thanks to a teaching position given to Sir Alex Ferguson.

Business

Thumbnail image for BBC uncovers ‘criminal’ organisation offering full sky packages for £80 a month

BBC uncovers ‘criminal’ organisation offering full sky packages for £80 a month

BBC investigative journalism show Inside Out has uncovered a scam whereby consumers are being charged over £80 a month for access to all of Sky TV’s premium channels.