Thumbnail image for Brits clearly looking forward to Brexit as rising life expectancy grinds to a halt

Brits clearly looking forward to Brexit as rising life expectancy grinds to a halt

Life expectancy in Britain has stopped rising for the first time in recorded history and it’s definitely Brexit’s fault, according to reports this morning.

Thumbnail image for Post-Brexit ban on non-skilled workers to rule out most of Theresa May’s government

Post-Brexit ban on non-skilled workers to rule out most of Theresa May’s government

Theresa May’s government would face exile under proposed new laws to prevent non-skilled EU citizens from working in the UK.

In an attempt to demonstrate the government’s preparation in case of a no deal Brexit, the prime minister has outlined her vision of a post-Brexit immigration system where wealthy investors and highly qualified experts will easily be able to come help harvest asparagus.

Simon Williams, 38, today wistfully recalled the simpler, happier times when the word ‘Brexit’ just sounded like a funny name for a breakfast cereal.

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Sport

Thumbnail image for Burning your Nike trainers in protest ‘a great way to get out of going running’

Burning your Nike trainers in protest ‘a great way to get out of going running’

Local Man Simon Williams has used the outcry over Nike’s latest advert as an excuse to burn his trainers so he doesn’t have to go running any more.

Technology

Thumbnail image for Satirical website discovers new way to stuff even more adverts onto the page

Satirical website discovers new way to stuff even more adverts onto the page

Popular satirical clickbait site FactPunch! has discovered some new and exciting methods to cram even more adverts onto their page, they have announced today.

Science

Thumbnail image for Students who bunked lectures during Homeopathy degree secure better marks than full attendees

Students who bunked lectures during Homeopathy degree secure better marks than full attendees

The University of Basingstoke has confirmed that the less often students turned up for classes on its new Homeopathy degree course, the higher the mark they got.

Education

Thumbnail image for Students who bunked lectures during Homeopathy degree secure better marks than full attendees

Students who bunked lectures during Homeopathy degree secure better marks than full attendees

The University of Basingstoke has confirmed that the less often students turned up for classes on its new Homeopathy degree course, the higher the mark they got.