Thumbnail image for British couple to take goldfish to Australia for life-saving surgery

British couple to take goldfish to Australia for life-saving surgery

A British couple are planning to take their sick 8 year-old goldfish to Australia for high-risk tumour removal surgery, it has emerged.

Thumbnail image for Ebola panic subsides as scientists find cure for white people

Ebola panic subsides as scientists find cure for white people

Global panic surrounding the Ebola virus has begun to subside after it was revealed an experimental treatment has cured every white person who has received it.

Britain’s Got Talent presenters Ant & Dec are to receive coaching in the art of building tension from the judge in Oscar Pistorius’ trial, according to sources this morning.

As campaigning in the Scottish referendum enters its final phase, both sides have pulled out all the stops to woo the lucrative North Korean endorsement.

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Sport

Thumbnail image for Rooney’s inspiring speech mistaken for drone of strimmer

Rooney’s inspiring speech mistaken for drone of strimmer

Wayne Rooney’s stirring first speech as England captain went largely unnoticed by teammates who presumed the noise to be a mechanical drone.

Politics

Thumbnail image for Scottish referendum parties do battle for lucrative North Korean endorsement

Scottish referendum parties do battle for lucrative North Korean endorsement

As campaigning in the Scottish referendum enters its final phase, both sides have pulled out all the stops to woo the lucrative North Korean endorsement.

Entertainment

Thumbnail image for Pistorius judge to offer Ant & Dec lessons in building suspense

Pistorius judge to offer Ant & Dec lessons in building suspense

Britain’s Got Talent presenters Ant & Dec are to receive coaching in the art of building tension from the judge in Oscar Pistorius’ trial, according to sources this morning.

World

Thumbnail image for Dozens killed as clashes between rival Android and Apple fans escalate

Dozens killed as clashes between rival Android and Apple fans escalate

Dozens of technology users have been killed with hundreds more injured as fighting escalated amongst rival technology factions last night.

Technology

Thumbnail image for Dozens killed as clashes between rival Android and Apple fans escalate

Dozens killed as clashes between rival Android and Apple fans escalate

Dozens of technology users have been killed with hundreds more injured as fighting escalated amongst rival technology factions last night.

Science

Thumbnail image for Ebola panic subsides as scientists find cure for white people

Ebola panic subsides as scientists find cure for white people

Global panic surrounding the Ebola virus has begun to subside after it was revealed an experimental treatment has cured every white person who has received it.

Education

Thumbnail image for Teachers being on strike is brilliant, insists 8 year-old sat in front of Xbox

Teachers being on strike is brilliant, insists 8 year-old sat in front of Xbox

Children across the country have welcomed the fight to improve pay and conditions for the nation’s teachers, insisting they are 100% behind further industrial action.

Business

Thumbnail image for Independent Scotland will be a lot like Mad Max, claim RBS

Independent Scotland will be a lot like Mad Max, claim RBS

RBS will leave an independent Scotland after economists predicted a Mad Max style post-apocalyptic wasteland dominated by the small amount of oil still up for grabs.