Thumbnail image for Geordie accent to be banned under new data encryption laws

Geordie accent to be banned under new data encryption laws

The Geordie accent will be banned under new encryption laws to be brought in by the government, we can report today.

Thumbnail image for Minute’s silence to be held for victims of benefit cuts

Minute’s silence to be held for victims of benefit cuts

PM David Cameron will hold a minute’s silence for the forgotten victims of the British benefits tragedy.

Allowing Alton Towers to acquire live Dinosaurs would be worse than anything that ever happened in Jurassic Park, experts have revealed.

The latest instalment in the Mission: Impossible franchise features Tom Cruise escaping from the Church of Scientology, we can report.

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Sport

Thumbnail image for Gazza sends Laura Bassett set of plastic breasts

Gazza sends Laura Bassett set of plastic breasts

Paul Gascoigne has told England’s Laura Bassett that she will feel much better once she wears a pair of fake plastic breasts on an an open topped bus.

Politics

Thumbnail image for Turkeys in shock vote against Christmas

Turkeys in shock vote against Christmas

Turkeys have delivered a defiant response to supporters of Christmas, insisting they do not want to be part of it under the current proposals.

Entertainment

Thumbnail image for New Mission Impossible film to feature Tom Cruise escaping from Church of Scientology

New Mission Impossible film to feature Tom Cruise escaping from Church of Scientology

The latest instalment in the Mission: Impossible franchise features Tom Cruise escaping from the Church of Scientology, we can report.

World

Thumbnail image for Turkeys in shock vote against Christmas

Turkeys in shock vote against Christmas

Turkeys have delivered a defiant response to supporters of Christmas, insisting they do not want to be part of it under the current proposals.

Technology

Thumbnail image for Geordie accent to be banned under new data encryption laws

Geordie accent to be banned under new data encryption laws

The Geordie accent will be banned under new encryption laws to be brought in by the government, we can report today.

Science

Thumbnail image for North Korea invents Bacon

North Korea invents Bacon

North Korean supreme leader Kim Jong-Un has discovered a new wonder food called ‘Bacon’, the Korean Central News Agency announced today.

Education

Thumbnail image for Further GCSE confusion as religious studies paper found to contain no answers

Further GCSE confusion as religious studies paper found to contain no answers

Students have faced further confusion during their GCSEs after it was revealed that the answers for a religious studies exam were based on an illogical concept that revolves around superbeings and magic.

Business

Thumbnail image for Alton Towers must never become a Dinosaur Park, confirm experts

Alton Towers must never become a Dinosaur Park, confirm experts

Allowing Alton Towers to acquire live Dinosaurs would be worse than anything that ever happened in Jurassic Park, experts have revealed.