Thumbnail image for Saint George actually a Pink Hippopotamus, historians confirm

Saint George actually a Pink Hippopotamus, historians confirm

The Patron Saint of England was not English but an effeminate pink hippo who lived with a talking bear, historians have claimed today.

Thumbnail image for Fury as unemployed parents living off the state have ANOTHER baby

Fury as unemployed parents living off the state have ANOTHER baby

A pair of workshy layabouts are popping out another tax-funded sprog either today or tomorrow or yesterday or last year, depending on when you read this story.

Britons everywhere are demanding a bank holiday in memory of their patron saint.

Catherine and the Duke of Cambridge travelled to hospital on Monday morning but were sent home again and told to come back in a few hours, as Catherine wasn’t ‘far enough along yet’.

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Entertainment

Thumbnail image for Saint George actually a Pink Hippopotamus, historians confirm

Saint George actually a Pink Hippopotamus, historians confirm

The Patron Saint of England was not English but an effeminate pink hippo who lived with a talking bear, historians have claimed today.

Technology

Thumbnail image for Complete simpleton still doing facebook questionnaires

Complete simpleton still doing facebook questionnaires

Despite an overwhelming tsunami of reasons why he shouldn’t, local simpleton Simon Williams is still sharing Facebook quizzes with his friends.

Science

Thumbnail image for Drinkers urge scientists to make up their bloody minds

Drinkers urge scientists to make up their bloody minds

As new research shows that even one drink a day can reduce life expectancy, drinkers have suggested that maybe scientists all sit down in a room and make their bloody minds up.