Thumbnail image for Turkey just arresting everyone now

Turkey just arresting everyone now

Turkey has gone on off on a benny when it comes to arresting people, we can report.

Thumbnail image for American Police to improve efficiency with regulated monthly cull of black men

American Police to improve efficiency with regulated monthly cull of black men

Police forces across America are to organise a regulated, monthly cull of black men as a more efficient means of reaching their dead black men targets.

The recipient of a ground-breaking new double hand transplant is said to be looking forward to a monumental bout of masturbation.

Ski jump ace Eddie ‘The Eagle’ Edwards may have narrowly missed out on a gold medal because of Russian dope cheats.

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Sport

Thumbnail image for Eddie ‘The Eagle’ Edwards denied gold by Russian dope cheats

Eddie ‘The Eagle’ Edwards denied gold by Russian dope cheats

Ski jump ace Eddie ‘The Eagle’ Edwards may have narrowly missed out on a gold medal because of Russian dope cheats.

Entertainment

Thumbnail image for Cashpoints to add ‘double or quits’ function

Cashpoints to add ‘double or quits’ function

Bank hole-in-the-wall machines are to feature a ‘double or quits’ function to add a bit of excitement to your weekly shop, they have announced.

Technology

Thumbnail image for BT Internet outage blamed on creepy ginger student

BT Internet outage blamed on creepy ginger student

The loss of Internet for millions of BT customers has been blamed on a creepy student trying to watch his housemate in the bath.

Science

Thumbnail image for Google teaches self-driving car to understand ‘wanker!’ hand gesture

Google teaches self-driving car to understand ‘wanker!’ hand gesture

In a major step forward, Google has successfully taught their prototype self-driving car to understand several common road hand-signals, including ‘wanker’, knobhead’, and ‘swivel on this.’

Education

Thumbnail image for New study finds most minions quotes actually ‘by Hitler’

New study finds most minions quotes actually ‘by Hitler’

More than 80% of uplifting and amusing quotes on minion memes are actually by Hitler, according to a study published today.

Business

Thumbnail image for Cashpoints to add ‘double or quits’ function

Cashpoints to add ‘double or quits’ function

Bank hole-in-the-wall machines are to feature a ‘double or quits’ function to add a bit of excitement to your weekly shop, they have announced.