Thumbnail image for Conspiracy theorists blame billion-dollar wedding cake industry for Irish gay marriage victory

Conspiracy theorists blame billion-dollar wedding cake industry for Irish gay marriage victory

Internet conspiracy theorists are claiming the result of the Irish gay marriage referendum is due to vote rigging by wedding cake manufacturers.

Thumbnail image for Kent earthquake victims sign lucrative movie rights deal

Kent earthquake victims sign lucrative movie rights deal

Victims of last night’s Kent earthquake have signed a lucrative deal to for the story to be told in a 2016 Hollywood blockbuster.

The carefree early summer that involved laugher, barbecues, ice cream in the park, and leaving all the windows open, has been replaced by abject terror as the first wasp wakes up.

Former England international and BT Sport commentator Michael Owen has been ordered to pay damages to phone-hackers for the distress caused by listening to his excessively tedious voicemails.

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Sport

Thumbnail image for Michael Owen ordered to pay damages to phone hackers following exposure to ‘painfully dull’ voicemails

Michael Owen ordered to pay damages to phone hackers following exposure to ‘painfully dull’ voicemails

Former England international and BT Sport commentator Michael Owen has been ordered to pay damages to phone-hackers for the distress caused by listening to his excessively tedious voicemails.

Politics

Thumbnail image for We’ll get to tax avoiders after we’ve got some pennies from illegal immigrants, insists government

We’ll get to tax avoiders after we’ve got some pennies from illegal immigrants, insists government

The government has insisted it has every intention of getting to the millions of pounds of avoided tax, just as soon as it’s finished getting twenty quid here and there from illegal immigrants.

Entertainment

Thumbnail image for Conservatives pledge referendum on Eurovision membership

Conservatives pledge referendum on Eurovision membership

David Cameron has this morning announced a referendum on Britain’s continued involvement in the Eurovision song contest after 2016.

World

Thumbnail image for Putin scores hat-trick in 2018 World Cup final

Putin scores hat-trick in 2018 World Cup final

Russian president Vladimir Putin, has surpassed his already considerable sporting achievements by scoring a hat trick in the final of a yet-to-be-played football tournament.

Technology

Thumbnail image for NSA hugely grateful to Microsoft for how-old.net

NSA hugely grateful to Microsoft for how-old.net

The US National Security Agency has thanked Microsoft for creating a website where people will repeatedly upload mug shots of themselves for them to file away as they please.

Science

Thumbnail image for Stephen Hawking tells One Direction fans of alternate universe in which all band members are dead

Stephen Hawking tells One Direction fans of alternate universe in which all band members are dead

Theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking has told One Direction fans around the world that there is a parallel universe in which every member of the boy band is dead.

Education

Thumbnail image for Striking teachers ‘out of touch’, claims party of rich old men who’ve never had a proper job

Striking teachers ‘out of touch’, claims party of rich old men who’ve never had a proper job

The Conservative party has invoked ‘pot-kettle-black’ by suggesting that another large group of people are acting against the interests of Britain.

Business

Thumbnail image for Millions of commuters pretending to be happy rail strike is cancelled

Millions of commuters pretending to be happy rail strike is cancelled

Commuters all across the country have spent the afternoon in the office wearing fake smiles, and pretending to be really pleased that Tuesday planned rail strike has been cancelled.