Thumbnail image for EU Brexit team absolutely delighted to see Tories out-negotiated by DUP for a billion quid

EU Brexit team absolutely delighted to see Tories out-negotiated by DUP for a billion quid

Brexit negotiators inside the EU could not be happier to see the UK government writing massive cheques when put under a little bit of pressure, according to sources in Brussels.

Thumbnail image for Everyone in Northern Ireland to get a free pony

Everyone in Northern Ireland to get a free pony

Everyone in Northern Ireland will receive a free pony, Theresa May has confirmed today.

Coffee has probably stopped working if you’re drinking loads of it.

After learning that how you talk about the country can affect its economic performance on the world stage, Brexiters full of positive thoughts have told the nation to prepare for unprecedented growth.

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Thumbnail image for Barnett Formula calculated to equal the square root of fuck all

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The Barnett Formula, the mechanism that proportionately allocates government funding to England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, has been calculated to equal the square root of fuck all in the wake of the £1bn of extra cash given to Northern Ireland in return for the DUP supporting the minority Tory government.

Entertainment

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Technology

Thumbnail image for Medical researchers confirm strong link between vaccines and not dying

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There is a ‘causal link’ between the introduction of vaccines and not keeling over dead from entirely preventable causes before your fifth birthday, doctors have confirmed today.

Science

Thumbnail image for Mealy-mouthed white van drivers still not apologising for Finsbury Park attack

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Education

Thumbnail image for John McDonnell wraps his words in inflammatory cladding

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Business

Thumbnail image for Tories agree £1bn deal with DUP after finally locating elusive magic money tree

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A magical tree on which government money grows has miraculously been found in time to secure a deal with the DUP, a government spokesperson has confirmed.