Thumbnail image for Daily Mail vows to support refugees right up until it can find one on benefits

Daily Mail vows to support refugees right up until it can find one on benefits

The Daily Mail has today urged the government to help with the migrant crisis, and will continue to do so until it finds one claiming benefits.

Thumbnail image for Allegations emerge that Miss Piggy ‘had affair with Boris Johnson’

Allegations emerge that Miss Piggy ‘had affair with Boris Johnson’

Kermit the Frog split up with Miss Piggy after she had an affair with London Mayor Boris Johnson, it has been alleged this morning.

Bestselling book, the bible, is to be reissued and told from a female perspective.

There were tears on the Breakfast sofa yesterday when Bill Turnbull officially announced that he was ‘sick of this shit,’ and was leaving.

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Sport

Thumbnail image for Subbuteo to sue Liverpool defence for copyright infringement

Subbuteo to sue Liverpool defence for copyright infringement

Subbuteo are to sue the entire Liverpool back four for copyright infringement following their performance during their 3-0 home defeat to West Ham.

Politics

Thumbnail image for Daily Mail vows to support refugees right up until it can find one on benefits

Daily Mail vows to support refugees right up until it can find one on benefits

The Daily Mail has today urged the government to help with the migrant crisis, and will continue to do so until it finds one claiming benefits.

Entertainment

Thumbnail image for Allegations emerge that Miss Piggy ‘had affair with Boris Johnson’

Allegations emerge that Miss Piggy ‘had affair with Boris Johnson’

Kermit the Frog split up with Miss Piggy after she had an affair with London Mayor Boris Johnson, it has been alleged this morning.

World

Thumbnail image for Allegations emerge that Miss Piggy ‘had affair with Boris Johnson’

Allegations emerge that Miss Piggy ‘had affair with Boris Johnson’

Kermit the Frog split up with Miss Piggy after she had an affair with London Mayor Boris Johnson, it has been alleged this morning.

Technology

Thumbnail image for Self-driving cars risk putting clowns out of business

Self-driving cars risk putting clowns out of business

Clown spokesmen have issued a stark warning that self-driving cars risk putting thousands of their drivers out of work this morning.

Science

Thumbnail image for Polar bears keen to know if Russian scientists have heard of Jesus Christ

Polar bears keen to know if Russian scientists have heard of Jesus Christ

A group of missionary polar bears have besieged Russian scientists in a remote weather station, in an attempt to introduce them to their lord and saviour Jesus Christ.

Business

Thumbnail image for ‘I’m still busy catching up after bank holiday’ insists colleague who clearly has nothing to do

‘I’m still busy catching up after bank holiday’ insists colleague who clearly has nothing to do

Office worker Simon Williams insists he’s still catching up after the bank holiday, despite it being clear to all concerned that he has absolutely nothing to do whatsoever.